Dreading dessert?

Not many people can say that they have dreaded dessert. As a child I loved eating dessert, I would never turn it down even if I was full. But the idea of sitting next to my siblings when they ate dessert was truly distressing. It was never something that I could explain to anyone, but there was an overwhelming anxious desire to flee if the sound of eating reached my little seven year old ears. Even as an adult this reaction stays with me. I use various socially acceptable coping mechanisms to block or overpower the sound, but I usually run out of polite ways to cover my ears within a few minutes. I have walked out of classes because of gum chewers. I've moved to another room because of chip crunching and plugged in earbuds and listened to music because of cereal slurps. No, I am not surrounded by vikings or medieval eaters. My family is very polite when it comes to table manners and don't crunch any more than the average person (in fact, they are much quieter than many people I have eaten with).

My problem lies within. Until recently I didn't know there was a name for what I have been dealing with. I had chalked it up to being my inability to block out sounds or just being super sensitive. It turns out, however, that the disorder misophonia describes my issue to a T. Misophonia was recently a special section on the TODAY show and the next day Kelly Rippa announced that she struggles with it as well. It literally means the hatred of sound.

One of the most distressing parts of it for me is the way that people become upset that I can't handle their eating. I always try my best to explain, it really is my problem, it is my issue and it isn't your fault, but sometimes when I am becoming very anxious I have two choices, blow up or stop the sound (either by leaving or covering my ears). When I was younger the blow up route was my first choice. Now I honestly try my best to calmly leave or stop the sound. Occasionally a glare (or death glare as my college room mate labeled it) escapes me.

One of the reasons I am writing this blog is so that I can say this to whomever (is it whoever or whomever ??) chooses to read it. Know that I hate the sound not the person, not who makes the sound but the sound itself. I am glaring at the sound, leaving because of the sound, anxious and overwhelmed at the sound. I love people, their sounds are just overwhelming.