note*

Please read Dreading Dessert if you are just arriving

Friday, September 27, 2013

My response to a non-misophonia's post on my support forum. He was venting and telling everyone to suck it up.

My Husband and I have had many conversations about His responsibility and mine when it comes to Miso.

Mine is to continue to communicate and express when noise is an issue before I explode, his is to be understanding that I might have to leave and cool off. He tries to eat quietly, but we all know that doesn't fix it. We eat with music or fans or TV on and he is getting used to that. I use earplugs only occasionally around him.

A difference in my Miso and many of my fellow sufferers is how I was taught to react and think about it as a child. Hatred was a no-no. I do not allow my overwhelmed anxious feelings to overcome my love for people. Yes sometimes I can hardly stand to be with that person at work, but when I find myself turning it into his or her problem and hating them and not the sound, I force myself to stop and remember I love that person. and my life would become miserable without friendships.
While my Miso is wild and mean and shows up worse when I feel worse, my ability is to not allow my anger, frustration, anxiety affect others. I cannot control how it makes me feel but I can control how I present those feelings to others. 


The triggers are people, they are family, they are loved ones and they don't deserve my wrath, my witty comments about barbarianism or my glares of doom and death. I teach my students with special needs the same thing I need to practice myself. Communicate with correct and non-accusatory language, (don't play the blame game) and don't get upset when they forget the next day that this was an issue. Pull yourself from the situation (take a time out) and cool off.
Honestly I think that my peace that I manage to hold on to is from God. I feel at my wits end, like the world will end and after a quiet moment and remembering what I am here on earth for I am ready to try again. 


  I know that many of you miso sufferers do not get support from your family. I believe it isn't a lost cause and that you should keep trying to find someway to help them understand. Understanding does not mean they should stop living around you it means they should try and live with you and you with them. If they cannot have permissions to vent how can we.  Our Families are dealing with Miso too.  Our loved ones have a whole lot of crap to deal with and they need our support as much as we need theirs.

 Life is rough, things suck, but if we have love, it will all work out.

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